Below we have tried to answer the questions we hear most often. If you need more information about something that isn’t listed on the web site, please write and we will do our best to get right back to you.

Q: Where is the Host Hotel Located?

A: Our hotel is in Bay Area.  We’ve moved to very large, national brand,  scene friendly hotel in San Jose.

Q: Do we have to share the hotel?

A: The hotel has over 500 rooms and while we don’t have all the sleeping rooms we do have all the ballroom space for the entire weekend. So, while you will have to be polite and respectful of other guests while in the elevators and hotel lobby, once you enter the ballroom spaces, its all ours. We will have a huge social space that connects to all the playspaces and workshop areas.

Q: What is the dress code?

A: You must be street legal when walking the hallways, in the lobby, elevators, restaurant and lobby bar of the hotel. Most people dress casually during the day for workshops. At night we expect to see you in your fetish finest. There will NOT be any bizarre dress code restrictions. Cross dressing is perfectly acceptable. T-shirts with cute sayings are great. Men in kilts turn us on. Outlandish costumes will be applauded. But there is no nudity allowed at any time in the public areas of the hotel.

Q: How much is the event?

A: A full weekend pass to the event varies in price from $225 – $305 depending on when you register and if you are a member of a participating group. The weekend pass gets you into all of our classes, workshops, special events and playspaces. There are no additional fees to attend evening play parties. Marketplace Passes (Vendor Only) are not available for this event. At this point no other day passes or workshop only passes are being offered. We will make that decision about 2 weeks prior to the event.

Q: Can I Volunteer to help reduce the cost of entry?

A: Yes, we have a variety of volunteer positions available at every event. For Surrender we are offering discounts for people willing to work 6 or 12 hours during the event. All the details are available on the Volunteer Form.

Q: How do I book a room? What if I don’t want a room? A: You do not have to book a hotel room to attend Surrender. You absolutely can commute from home, stay with a friend, or even get a room in another hotel. We think staying in the host hotel is your best choice especially with the amazing $152/night room rate special we have.  (Current block rate is $229/night)   There is a 2 night minimum stay (Fri & Sat) but we suggest you consider staying Sunday night as the Playspace is open until about 1 am even on Sunday night (Monday morning). If you are from out of town you can extend this rate up to 3 days before the event and really do some sight seeing around San Francisco!

You will be given the opportunity to book a room at the end of the event registration process.

Q: Is there an OverFlow Hotel? A: One step at a time. Let’s sell out this hotel first and then we will look for an overflow hotel. There are other hotels but we have not yet spoken to them about an overflow block of rooms. Q: The Playspace is open until 2am? Really?! A: Its true, its true! We have the space, the hotel is OK with it, so let’s party late every night. We will be closing the space a little earlier on Sunday night so we can start tearing it all down, but this is Dark Odyssey and we expect you to play late and play hard!

Q: I’m flying into the Bay Area. What airport should I choose? A: You actually have 3 choices of airports. San Jose airport (SJC) is a 5 minute drive away from the hotel and is accessible by taxi/Uber/Lyft, courtesy bus and the local bus service. San Francisco airport (SFO) and Oakland airport (OAK) are both a 40 min drive away and an Uber is gonna cost about $75. Depending on what flight costs are one may be a better option for you over the other. Q: When do I get directions to the event? A: We will announce the hotel name and send directions out to all attendees in mid October. At that time you will also receive emails with more information about all our special events and workshops that you may participate in. Please make sure we have your current email address so you get all event notices timely. We do NOT send out a snail mail confirmation package. You can update your email address and other personal information in the Attendees Only Area by clicking on your “Virtual Badge”.

Q: How much will it cost to park my car? A: The hotel is offering event attendees a $15/day parking rate.  If you have a hotel room the discounted rate for parking is also $15 per 24 hours for overnight guests with full in/out privileges.

Q: Will there be Day Passes? A: Currently we are not offering day passes. If it looks like there is enough room, we will open up day passes about three weeks before the event. But we feel it’s important to not overcrowd the space. When deciding to wait for day passes, please consider that a typical Saturday day pass is nearly the same price as a full registration at the early rates. Q: I just want to hook up. Are there any loose women there? A: Sadly, we were actually asked this question. woman flipping the bird

Well my politically incorrect “friend” the answer is…there may be… but probably not for you. Surrender is primarily an educational and social event. We attract an amazing cross section of people and are very proud of our diversity and the comfortable environment we create for those who are often made to feel “out of place” elsewhere. We are doctors and lawyers, artists and activists, husbands and wives, you and me. We are a truly an omnisexual community; queer, het, bisexual, gay, lesbian, transgendered and more.

Many of us are already deeply involved in one or more aspects of alternative sexuality and want to explore other areas or share our knowledge with those on the journey. Most of our attendees have an interest in one or more or the following: BDSM/leathersex, polyamory, open relationships and swinging, Eastern Philosophies, Earth-basedspirituality, and Tantra.

Q: Ok, I am not an insensitive dolt, but I am new… is this convention for me? A: Absolutely, Surrender is designed as an entry point to the alternative lifestyle community. It’s purpose is to give you a taste of the many different flavors of human sexuality. Where other events simply focus on a singular aspect like BDSM or the Lifestyle, we are the sampler version… a taste of sexuality… if we may. Many of our classes are introductory level so you may start at the beginning and walk away armed with new skills and ideas. We ask everyone to attend a short Dark Odyssey 101 class where we talk about etiquette and how to make the most of your weekend. If you are curious about alternate sexuality, have an open mind, and a good attitude this is the right place for you. Singles of any gender are welcome… assholes and wankers are not and we reserve the right to ask anyone who makes other attendees uncomfortable to leave.

Q: I can’t bring my camera? A: We are sorry, but to ensure everyone’s privacy we ask that you leave your camera at home. Also, now that everyone seems to have a cell phone with a camera, we can’t allow you to use your cell phone in the play spaces, workshop rooms or classrooms and would really appreciate if you must use your cell phone that you go into the lobby or better still outside the hotel away from other attendees. Hypnox, The Silence and several other official staff photographers will be on hand to capture those special moments. If you are willing to have your picture taken we will ask you to sign a model release during registration and you will then be identifiable to our staff photographers by the color wrist band you are given. Q: I have more questions… I need more answers? A: Then send us an email to and we will do our best to get you an answer as soon as possible. If you have a burning question that can’t wait for email… or you type really poorly… call Greg at 510-206-0875. (That’s right we gave you a real phone number to call … who does that?! We actually use/answer that phone, so please don’t call in the middle of the night.)